XXIII.
I remembered this room. I was on my back under warm sheets that wasn’t my quilt, in a room that wasn’t my own. It was definitely more spacious, the walls paler and more windows brightly lit up the room.
But this wasn’t under the same circumstances as last time. I had a heart rate monitor and a radiation wrap around my right leg. I could tell this was the long-staying condition of the hospital.
The ceiling was boring, less pale than the walls but nothing more interesting then the gray grains of a TV. So I turned to a window; fortunately open for me to view the outside. Birds chirped, courting each other and flying freely above every living thing in the world. They sported lovely colored feathers that blended with the springtime flowers and the mellow, orange light of the sun.
To ruin the moment, my cell phone rang. I didn’t even know my cell phone was here. But it was neatly arranged with a box of tissues and a wad of used ones. It was Collen.
“Hey. This is girl-in-hospital. How may I help you?”
“Aussie! Thank goodness, you’re alive! Don’t joke with me Aussie, you scared the crap out of me.”
Collen was pressing these words firmly to my heart; sandwiching masculine sniffles in between each word.
“Collen! Don’t cry! I’m fine, really!”
“No it’s not fine. You have cancer, I can’t tell this to anyone. You’re in the HOSPITAL.”
If Collen was here in real person, I would want to hug him close and pat his head until he calmed down. He was just like a little boy throwing a hissy-fit.
“Collen, listen to me closely. Cancer is a fact I can’t change in my life, and trust me I want to change it. But it’s basically set in stone and there’s nothing I can do about it. Of course, I trust the hospital, the doctors, all I’m doing is waiting for it to heal. Don’t get me wrong Collen, I want to run again. I want to jump and dance at dances I haven’t even enjoyed yet. I want to live a normal life. This hasn’t been easy for me. It may seem like it, but it’s not. I really do apologize for you not being able to tell people. Originally, no one was supposed to know. You’re trustworthy, and I knew you would be there for me. It’s just; Lance is really special to me. And the last thing I want to see is his sad face, so you could say that’s why I didn’t tell him. Our fight wasn’t intentional, but if it let him hate me while I went through this, I’m fine. Because he didn’t shed a tear for me, and that’s all that matters to me right now. Another thing, do me a favor. Tell Lance. Because if I don’t get to talk to him again, he should at least know of it. Because I’m sure it’s going to be a long hospital stay for me.”
He was way past the sniffling stage, he was full out bawling. Heavy sighs and deep inhales vibrated my ear as he cried. I didn’t mean to let the waterworks run, but it couldn’t be helped. Tears rushed down my eyes, all I could picture was my fate and Lance.
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