Monday, May 3, 2010

The Bird that Cannot Fly Ch. 16

XVI.

I arrived at Dr. Beaker’s again the next afternoon to report about the shot usages. He was proud that I had actively tried to treat my cancer but had news.

“I’m afraid your tumor was found in your right thigh, Aussie. Your left leg is just stressed from the uneven distribution of weight it gets. But, rhabdomyosarcoma spreads relatively spreads fast, so the tumor has grown a bit. You’re a young cheerleader, and your cancer was still pretty early in the process, so I’m thinking about radiation therapy for your thigh, and then a little chemotherapy.”

“Thank you doctor!”

I sprang from my chair and hugged the old man tightly. He rubbed my back gently, but then stabbed me with more news.

“But the cancer is still progressing, and until the cancer has reached a certain area of your body, we can’t treat it. It’s deep in your tissue. So from today on, you’ll have to use the shot more frequently. You drove today didn’t you? Good job, but I’m afraid you can’t anymore. It’ll be too much stress on your right leg. ”

Since my mother was at home, sick with stress, I had come alone. And now the empty seat next to me brought discomfort and sadness.

As I drove home after the visit, tapping my finger to good drum beats on the radio, I looked at my reflection in the mirrors. I was myself; little traits of my hummingbird mother and traits alike my canary sister, I didn’t look any different from that girl driving her Mercedes or her motorcycle. I was me, yet this week changed my life, forever.

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